Firsties?/Pretty Cruddy
Both make up the third episode of The Alison and Colleen Program Show. Plot Firsties? Pretty Cruddy Colleen gives a presentation on her family tree as part of a school assignment. Everything goes well until the teacher gets into an argument with Gabby Johnson due to the former calling her by her real name and not her chosen name. Gabby then does her presentation, aggravating the rest of her class in the process by going off on a political tirade and attacking white students. Alison and Colleen talk about what happened and Danielle tells them that she herself is a white girl pretending to be Mexican in order to be accepted by the race, and has also advocated vandalism and political movements against the president. The girls try to talk some sense into Gabby, but instead she accuse them of discrimination and forces the principal to force the girls to learn about respecting other races. The girls attend a racial sensitivity seminar, which only angers the girls and makes them snap at Gabby, causing her to run off. They both feel guilty for supposedly hurting her feelings, but their mothers assure them that they're not entirely to blame, claiming that they're more than aware of how white people claim to be of other races just to stick it to the president when they lack a grasp on actual world issues, which helps reassure the girls. The next day, the girls are assaulted by a group of thugs, supposedly sent by Gabby. Fearing for their lives, they hire Estus as a bodyguard, which seems to work until Gabby goes to them personally. Rather than fight them, she instead throws a tantrum on how people constantly treat her like a white person. The three tell her the truth, and bring up that not even the race she claims to be part of wants anything to do with her. Everything is resolved, until Gabby arrives dressed as a tranny, which causes the girls and even Danielle to freak out. Cast Firsties? * Aubrey Plaza: Alison * Melissa Fahn: Colleen * Andy Dick: Alison's Male Voice * Brian Poeshn: Colleen's Male Voice * Dave Willis: Estus * Daran Norris: The Weirdo Pretty Cruddy * Aubrey Plaza: Alison * Melissa Fahn: Colleen * Elizabeth Gillies: Danielle * Alyson Stoner: Gabby "Rodriguez" Johnson * Kathy Najimy: Ms. Gaffney * Nancy Linari: Leann Dixon * Mo Collins: Doris Meeks * Dave Willis: Estus Trivia Firsties? * The name of the episode comes from an in-joke on the rarity of female-to-male scenarios in fiction. * Strange offered Dave Willis a spot as a storyboard director on the episode, but he declined due to the show not fitting with his style. He did agree to reprise his role as Estus however. * Strange has claimed that Patton Oswalt would've been the voice of Alison in her male form had it not been for his political views and erratic behavior on social media. He hired Andy Dick since his voice sounded close enough to Oswalt's. * The episode hinted at the return of characters from Red Life (primarily the show's original characters and not those previously in Grojband) * Alison and Colleen's places of birth are revealed in the episode. Alison was born somewhere in Alberta while Colleen was born in Denver. Pretty Cruddy * Gabby is based on the writer of the current iteration of Miss America, generally in regard to her PC-mindset. * Strange cites the Rachel Dolezal trans-racial debacle as inspiration for the episode. * Ms. Gaffney's last name is sourced from Peter Gaffney, a prominent writer on Rugrats and The Simpsons.